UHHHH feeling so much better now....

So yes been feeling better. I have been completly stressed and i know that ive been pretty  ugly latly. As Nobody really does it to me i have done it too myself. I wish to appoligise for my flippin negativity. We all have so many doubts and things that make us negative but i find when others are negative its rather easy to go that way yourself. So i do appoligise if ive brung anybody down. I realise all i can do is be the best me i can be. I will not be telling people what i think of them being raw like that only hurts people. I wont be doing that. Most of the time when iam pissed i get over it pretty quick so why bring up something that hapened in the past and hurt others. I do beleive in honesty. but honesty comes at a price at times and sometimes its just not worth it.  I love so much i realy do. I know people have issue think iam fake at times and a goodie too shoes. but thats how i feel. I love everybody and i try to make everybody happy. i offer shit even when i know i cant afford it or i know i dont have the time to do it. I piss off some people when i offer to other people. i hate that i do this. but i just cant say no. especially to certain people. I get angry about people being fake and talking shit but i cant cut them out. I should be stronger but its just not me. When i love you i love you. I cannot just cut you out.I do beleive myself to be a good person but if somebody attacks my core , who iam, I do tend to wonder if iam that person. why would they say that if they didnt have a reason too. You know what i mean. So i do beleive in myself but i do have insecuritys as well. This is the core of who iam. If any of you didnt know who iam. Most of you do and most of you have personal experiences with me even to know the core of who iam. I have big dreams and wish so much that i could make them come true. as i get older iam feeling that it is hopeless and wondering if i should try. That sucks. Oddly iam allmost 42 but in my mind iam still 23. that could be good but it could be bad as well. Eh i dont know just sharing what is in my mind at this point. Like it lump it. It is me.              
                                                                 Hugs and Love,                                                                             
                                                                 Just Some Chick